


Loyalty

by Thatgirlwiththatpen



Category: Bombshell (2019)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, mention of possible sexual misconduct, these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22804369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatgirlwiththatpen/pseuds/Thatgirlwiththatpen
Summary: “But he asks for loyalty,” she looked up at Kayla, “Doesn’t he?”She watched as Kayla bit her lip, averted her gaze, took a deep breath, then turned back around to look at her. The look in her eyes was enough to make panic flare up again.“Kayla?”Kayla nodded tentatively, “Yes. He does.”Or,Jess worries about Kayla's meeting on the second floor.
Relationships: Jess Carr/Kayla Pospisil
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	Loyalty

**Author's Note:**

> Bombshell was finally released in theaters over here last week and I finally got to see it and then of course I couldn't stop thinking about Jess and Kayla so here we are. Also sorry if I misquoted the movie quotes, I have only seen it that one time in the theater. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I like to play with them.

_“I think it’s better if you don’t involve me in this.”_

_“I need to know that you are loyal.”_

_“I’m a closeted Democrat.”_

_“If you’re gay, it’s pretty bad.”_

_“They know we’re friends.”_

_“Find a way to prove it.”_

Kayla couldn’t breathe. The thoughts were swirling through her head, making her dizzy. Voices played on loop. Her voice. His voice. His breathing. Images floated through her mind. The Hillary posters. Her and Jess in bed. His office. The look on his face. Jess’ eyes. It was all too much. 

As she stood up from her desk, her legs felt oddly disconnected to her body, weak and definitely not steady enough to hold her upright. It was late. Most people had gone home, the lights had been dimmed. Jess had left hours ago, her eyes silently asking her to come along. But Kayla had turned her down with the tiniest shake of her head. Now, looking around the empty newsroom, her heart hammering, tears threatening to form, hands and legs shaking, she wished she had gone with her. 

She knew she couldn’t, but she wished she had. 

And maybe it was pure selfish, potentially self-destructive and potentially other-destructive behavior, but the tiny voice in the very back of her mind that sounded almost like her own voice in between all of those other voices floating around, that voice was telling her one thing and one thing only. 

_Go see her._

\-----

Jess was sitting cross-legged on her bed in the dimly lit bedroom of her apartment. Sure, the space was limited, but it was hers. Her sanctuary in a way. A place with Hillary posters and a tv that played CNN or NBC or quite literally anything that wasn’t Fox and a tiny pride flag in the pencil holder on her desk. Currently, Anderson Cooper was talking about the state of the presidential race on tv, but Jess could barely hear any of it. Her gaze was firmly fixed on the fridge in the nearby kitchen and the Hillary posters on and above it. 

“You have a Hillary poster in your house.”

Jess felt her eyes starting to water as she thought back to the night Kayla had uttered those exact words to her. She had felt so safe with her, so accepted. And she had said too much. Way too much. 

Now Kayla had met with Roger Aisles himself. Jess knew what that meant. The loyalty pledge she had heard rumors about. Only she wasn’t sure which rumors were true and which weren’t or whether it varied by person. If you rejected the one thing, would you have to prove your loyalty otherwise? Be a spy in the newsroom perhaps? 

She liked Kayla, and she wanted to trust her. But trust was such a foreign concept in a place where truth didn’t matter unless it benefited the ones in power. Her truth had never been accepted there and she knew it likely never would be. It had been hard, but she had managed to keep her truth secret. Now, however, she had entrusted someone else with that truth. And suddenly she felt as though the walls were closing in on her. 

_What if Kayla..?_

_No, she wouldn’t._

_But what **if**?_

It had partly been selfish thoughts dominating her words when she had told Kayla that it would be better if she did not involve her in whatever Kayla had been about to tell her. Part of her wondered, now, what Kayla had wanted to say. Maybe she would have been able to soothe Jess’ worries. But then again, the haunted, panicked look on Kayla’s face was enough to twist Jess’ gut and make her sick. Whether it was about ratting someone else out or, well, the other thing, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it either way. She wanted Kayla to be happy. She wanted to protect her almost more than she knew she needed to protect herself. She longed to tell Kayla that she had been wrong, that she should involve her, that she should feel safe to talk to her if she needed or wanted to. 

A loud knock on her door pulled Jess from her thoughts. Her gaze moved to the door, confusion settling in. Who would come by this late? She hadn’t ordered any food. She wasn’t expecting company. A sinking feeling started to spread through her. But no. They wouldn’t come to her door in the middle of the night. Would they? 

Another knock spurred Jess into action. She quickly shut off the tv, not wanting whoever was at the door to hear the sound of CNN in her apartment. She slowly got up from the bed and moved toward the door, straightening her clothes as she went. When she looked through the peephole, her heart stopped for a second and then started hammering wildly. An odd mixture of happiness and dread settled deep in her chest. She took a step back, took a shuddering breath, then opened the door. 

The look in Kayla’s eyes was tinted with pain, but above all, Jess could see the determination in them. Kayla had clearly come here with something specific in mind. 

“I need to talk to you,” Kayla said. 

There was a slight shake to her voice that most people probably would have missed. But not Jess. Jess was paying attention. Close attention. She was trying to read what was going on, so she could brace herself for the impact when Kayla would say it. 

Jess bit her lip, still determined to protect both of them.

“Kayla,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kayla didn’t seem phased, “Can I come in?”

It was dangerous, she knew it was. 

And yet. 

She stepped aside, opening the door wider to let Kayla in. Kayla walked right past her, the determination evident in her every movement. With a few sure steps, she headed right for the bedroom. It was times like these that Jess cursed New York City housing prices and her own fear of spending too much money on rent. If only she had a couch she could use for times like these. 

She followed Kayla wordlessly and when they both came to a stop in her bedroom, Jess motioned for her to sit.

Jess sat down next to Kayla, cross-legged like before, but closer to the edge where Kayla was sitting. She watched her closely, still trying to figure out what this was about without having to hear it from the other woman. 

But Kayla didn’t give her the chance. 

“We need to talk about what happened today,” Kayla said again, “I know you don’t want to, but I need to.”

Jess averted her gaze. How could she tell Kayla that she did want to know, but at the same time was so afraid of everything that would come with it? How could she convey the conflict that was raging inside of her?

“Kayla,” Jess fried again, “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” Kayla looked at her questioningly. “Why can’t we talk about this?”

Jess took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. This was going to be hard enough. She couldn’t bear to look into Kayla’s eyes when she said it. 

“I’ve heard rumors,” Jess began carefully. “About people meeting with Roger Stone.”

She didn’t miss how Kayla flinched at the mention of the name. But she couldn’t look at her. Not if she wanted to get through this all-important talk. 

“I’ve heard that he,” her voice broke. “Kayla, did he do anything to you?” 

Her eyes did meet Kayla’s then. What she saw there stirred panic in her. Did he..?

Kayla lowered her gaze, then whispered, “No, nothing happened.”

For a while, it was quiet, both letting those words wash over them like a wave that, if it crashed, would bury them both, suffocate them. 

It was Jess who broke the silence first. “But he asks for loyalty,” she looked up at Kayla, “Doesn’t he?”

She watched as Kayla bit her lip, averted her gaze, took a deep breath, then turned back around to look at her. The look in her eyes was enough to make panic flare up again. 

“Kayla?” 

Upon Jess’ prompting, Kayla nodded tentatively, “Yes. He does.”

Jess sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself. 

“Did you..?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question. 

Kayla looked up at her, her eyes wide, terrified, none of the earlier determination left in them. 

“That’s why I needed to talk to you,” Kayla started carefully. 

Her words hit Jess right in the gut and she felt like she was going to be sick. _This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening._

Kayla, seemingly having noticed her distress, was quick to reach out, her fingers wrapping around Jess’ wrist. 

“I didn’t tell him anything,” she said, a sense of urgency in her voice. “Please, Jess, you have to believe that.” 

“But you wanted to?” Jess’ voice was small. 

“I didn’t,” Kayla replied, “but I got this bad feeling.”

“Kayla, I really need to hear the full story here,” Jess’ voice cracked. “I may not want to, but this is killing me.” 

Kayla nodded. She took a deep breath, then spoke up, her words coming out fast and almost stilted, “He said he could move me to the front of the line. But he would have to know I’m loyal. I’m not sure exactly what he meant, I mean after the weird thing that happened. But probably not that. Right? Well either way, I’m worried. Because like you said, they know we’re friends. And I couldn’t help but wonder, and I hate to ask this, but do you think anyone might know? You know, about you?” 

Jess let out a humorless laugh, “What? The lesbianism? Or the Hillary thing?” 

Kayla looked at her sadly, “Jess.” 

Just hearing her name from Kayla in that tone was enough to make Jess drop the laughing facade. 

“No, Kayla,” Jess said, her tone as serious as ever. “Nobody knows, except you.”

She watched as Kayla swallowed hard, averting her gaze for the briefest moment. 

When Kayla didn’t speak up, Jess broke the silence once again, “Are you going to tell him?” 

Her voice was steady, disconnected even, like she was resigned to her fate. 

Kayla’s head snapped up, her eyes wild when she looked at Jess, hands reaching out to take Jess’ into hers. “No,” Kayla said firmly. “Never.”

“Well, never is a strong word,” Jess commented.

Kayla shook her head, “I mean it. I wouldn’t do that to you. That’s why I care here. I need you to know I would never do that.”

A single tear escaped Jess’ eye, rolling down her cheek. She didn’t have the heart to wipe it away, not wanting to let go of Kayla’s hands, a silent comfort she needed to cling onto. 

“So what are you going to do?”

Kayla sighed, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jess whispered, eyes firmly locked on Kayla’s. 

“I know,” Kayla said, a sad smile on her face. “But doing that to you would hurt me too.”

Jess nodded, words failing her. She couldn’t quite sort her thoughts. Just minutes ago she had been worried sick about this whole ordeal. She was still worried, about Kayla, about what would happen to the woman she cared so deeply about. But hearing this from Kayla, that at least settled some of her worries. And it made her feel oddly warm inside. 

She squeezed Kayla’s hands gently. A watery smile between them. 

_We got this._

**Author's Note:**

> Love it? Hate it? Comments? Prompts? The little box below is waiting (also comments make the author super happy).


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